A Poem for Our Souls

A Poem for Our Souls

In March 1999, I was in my second semester at college and taking an "Introduction to Poetry" class. Analyzing the poem "Aubade" by Philip Larkin was hard and I'm so glad I chose to become intimate with it. The professor wrote, "You really took a risk choosing such a challenging poem." Because the topic of the poem is his fear of dying and being dead, I thought a lot about it when I was writing the blog Before & After... 

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Liz's Thoughts

Liz Cancer576

A few weeks ago Liz commented on my blog. She was at Hufeland Klinik this past Spring... awesome! As I perused her blog posts, I really like what she had to say about a lot of things including the term "surveillance." My oncologist is doing this with me as well... she says that what they call it when they follow a patient given a diagnosis of cancer that is not using chemotherapy or radiation. (And some oncologists refuse to do this and tell you to find another doctor!)

"The continued use of militaristic language within cancer circles is just plain disturbing.  I’ve cooperated through their surgery protocol, a true cadet.  Now, when I refuse to continue the fight with chemical guerrilla warfare, I’m a defector, double-crosser, rebel, renegade.  I’m put under surveillance.  The word conjures up the darkest of images of cancer warfare.  Where’s the compassionate language one would expect from a health care system sworn to do no harm? Maybe that’s the rub, 'sworn to do no harm' yet, the establishment is largely responsible for losing the winnable war against cancer."

You can read more about her journey after a diagnosis of Stage 3C1 Uterine Cancer on her blog: https://cancer576.wordpress.com/

 

The Song "To Beat the Devil" by Kris Kristofferson

"To Beat the Devil"
Johnny Cash singing the Kris Kristofferson song

If you waste your time a-talkin' to
the people who don't listen,
To the things that you are sayin',
who do you think's gonna hear.
And if you should die explainin' how
the things that they complain about,
Are things they could be changin',
who do you think's gonna care?
...the truth remains that no-one wants to know...

And you still can hear me singin' to
the people who don't listen,
To the things that I am sayin',
prayin' someone's gonna hear.
And I guess I'll die explaining how
the things that they complain about,
Are things they could be changin',
hopin' someone's gonna care.
...I don't believe that no-one wants to know...

 

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?!

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?!

So many times during my journey after being given a diagnosis of cancer, people have judged the diagnosis as bad, the worst, and very horrible at the least. Maybe this diagnosis of cancer is ultimately bad, but we don’t know that yet. And maybe this diagnosis of cancer is ultimately good, but again, we don't know that yet. I've heard others say how grateful they were for a cancer diagnosis in their life. I want to get there too! I think what helps me most is the work I do everyday whether it's...

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Life Is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful

That morning, when I woke up... I felt like a veil had been lifted from my heart and everything was BEAUTIFUL. I looked at the leaves on the trees in the park across the street and it was so beautiful that it made me cry... I listened to the words of songs that I love and they were so beautiful that it made me cry... all day, throughout the entire day, my heart and my eyes just overflowed with the incredible feeling and realization that (as cheesy as it sounds)... Life Is Beautiful. For the most part, I've found life to be really hard and challenging and painful and filled with lots of suffering...

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A Song by Dar Williams

A Song by Dar Williams

I lived in Duke (my pickup truck) for 5 months from May through September 2004. After the rafting season was over in mid-August in Colorado, I spent 6 weeks driving through Idaho, Washington, Oregon, and northern California by myself. It was AMAZING. I went to hot springs and camped and hiked and mountain biked. There were lots of ups and downs on this solo-journey. Lots of reading and journaling and figuring myself out. Mainly I probably was obsessed with when and who and how I was going to get married...

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